he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
These tits shall not be calmed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
