these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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