dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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