The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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