I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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