the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
