He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
