I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
