dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
