you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
