i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
there's paper in my vomit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
