Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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