Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm drive I can fine osifer
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
