its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
