I can't watch pbs sober anymore
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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