I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
