Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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