We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
