My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
