Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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