It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
