C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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