You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
