but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
the gays at disneyland are vicious
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
