i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
