So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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