Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
