Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
