I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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