On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Me. At least after what I've been through.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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