In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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