i don't like sucking hair
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
