you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
