I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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