i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
