Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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