You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize