the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
