I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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