Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I died a long time ago.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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