so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
