Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
