somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
