oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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