I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
