i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
