all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
