i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize