please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
