glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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