Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
