If that was your dad, he is hot
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
what day is it and did you see me today?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
