i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
