you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
