i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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