Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
