Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
