you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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