your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
