i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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