I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
