Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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