Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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