u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
