I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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