I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
