The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
