theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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