Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
