Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
