Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
