New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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